Big

​I wish I wasn’t such a big guy.  I don’t see myself as a big guy.  Mostly I feel small, and frail.  Scared all the time.  It’s kind of a paradox: this big, scary dude, afraid of the world and everyone and everything it encompasses.  My dreams are small, my nightmares immense.  My world is mini and my mind is being compressed by the thoughtless reruns I got going on all the time.  It’s a waste thinking about all this nonsense.  There’s no way to escape my human body, and I’m racking my human brain with daydreams and wishes.  Maybe I’m a leprechaun in another world.  A court jester.  A pixie.  A half-witted decomposition.  Maybe the consensus is correct; there is every reason to fear me.  I’m just a sad sophomoric poet who likes to rant a lot about his problems, and fears and stuff like that.  I guess I can dream about what it would be like to be smaller—would I fear someone like me?  Maybe I’d try to fight me, because it’d be a win-win, don’t you think.  Because if small me wins then he would seem as though he were a hero.  And you know, if big me wins, he would come across as an asshole.  Well, at least I’m somewhat skinny, but not as skinny as I used to be, remember?