I sit here
in the dark listening to the roar of the faraway ocean I feel like something’s missing like I’m yearning for that ache in the bottom of my stomach to dissipate Forever foreboding it’s a youthful silence corroborated by the day before last Prior to this I crammed myself into a tunnel as the black sky cried I flew for once in a while The turbulence sang a delicate lullaby The fat man leered He seemed comfortable crushed into a gaping cube I remember a day when the turbulence of the sky felt like surfing a rainbow so unpredictable I thought about terror and spoke of violence to a crowd that lacked sensibility This is why the daily party with a theme of a shooting star a power like mania and a rod of angst I became one with a vile-like tantrum I’m bored while Michelle sleeps It’s not usually this way She’s usually the one with wide-eyed confidence that comes to extremes after the roosters hit the hay And I’ll be damned if I don’t snore like a chainsaw while her resentments grow fierce Tonight I sit alone beneath a fizzy delusion that makes my eyes water and my stomach ache I search for one final reason as to why it is in being alone I feel so much pain I dread the usual solitude of a tormented writer In my recollection I swing like an ape my arms bulge out and my stomach draws a little oh that shows in my eyes I’m so annoyed that I’m not surfing a rainbow or swimming with piranhas But I’ll tell you I miss it all the wasted days when I cocked the bow and shot the arrows through several lanes of desire Hit the target dead-on I was so wasted then 20 years ago I was here I had no fears And I watched as my normal inhibitions lay down their barriers and let me indulge
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