I sat in an AA meeting
saw a guy who annoyed me walk through the door Behind him came a girl I’d never seen before STOP She was pretty in that dropdead sexy death grip kind of way STOP My heart was leapfrogging She wore a grey collared shirt and a grey, frilly skirt Her hair was brown She was short Her legs looked soft like they’d absorb me if I were only STOP The guy led her to the coffee station That was the first time I caught her eyes They were brown big & devious like they’d seen things out of this world STOP I smiled at her while I poured my coffee and she poured her own. Then I sat down and she sat down beside me The guy that annoyed me sat down on the other side No words were spoken between us until the end of the meeting when she turned to me and said: HI, I’M DIANNE. STOP She died recently of a drug overdose Smoked fentanyl thinking it was only regular, run-of-the-mill crack cocaine I never realized how important she was to me. Until she died We never dated. No but we did hook up once or twice STOP I know what the rumors said about her she was a prostitute but I’d rather not soil her name anymore than it already is she liked me that’s what mattered I liked her back There was no other major exchange between us STOP She brought me to this strange guy’s house after I had run into her down the street I was sober for a bit She was not I was 23 she was I’m guessing 20 The guy whose house she had brought me to he would let any bozo come through the door. I forgot his name He had an open-door policy Anyone could come in at any time he didn’t care STOP I met Colin’s mom there She was drunk gave me a drunken lapdance right in front of everyone STOP She brought me to a rock ‘n’ roll show at the Knights of Columbus later that night She kept kissing me all night long until I had to go home Samantha was pissed when I told her about what had transpired that night STOP When I moved to my new apartment Johnny helped me lug over all my belongings in a stolen shopping cart She came by that night We had sex in my new bedroom while everyone else hung out in my new living room STOP She once called me because she was having a terrible night I brought her over to my place thought I’d get laid but she liked some other guy We sat around watched some cheesy teen movie She slept on my couch as I stayed up smoking ginseng out of the jar I had bought at the Asian market in Boston then drew penises and other things on her face. She was so angry at me because I used Sharpie but then she laughed I walked her to her friend’s house She hugged me said goodbye STOP I told her if she ever wanted to laugh, she can call me any time STOP A few years went by I neglected most my friends who were there at the beginning of my new journey because I screwed up so much and made a fool of myself so often that I didn’t want to be reminded I was standing outside of Pub 42 in Rutland She ran over and hugged me She was a little bit older She had gained some weight She was sober I said that’s great! But I was confused as to why she was so happy to see me like none of the old memories of her meant anything STOP Every now & then she would LIKE or comment on my posts on Facebook I would respond with very little passion Last week Wyatt asked me if I remembered her I hadn’t thought of her in ages but yeah of course I did She’s in a coma, he told me They’re going to cut the cord because she has no hope My heart was broken STOP All those memories of her came flooding in
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