Tension
like a noose holds me high above a graveyard That’s where the story starts here above a graveyard sort of like a mental prison I sit here alone in a house That’s what I do I go out I’m alone I stay home I’m alone Last night at an open-mike everyone shared their struggles onstage I gawked at them as they mingled off the stage old friends I left because it disgusted me old friends Now I’m walking I might be driving I’m going somewhere anywhere maintaining composure what for This is the story of my life Along broken train tracks I walk the guilt out of my mind I sometimes feel I’m destined to lose I’m too sensitive to be a man lack the compassion to be a woman I’m running backwards down these broken tracks When I fall I always fall on my face I’m always leaning toward the nothingness of life sifting through the void trying to find meaning climbing out of the vortex searching for purpose In a room now It’s a fellowship of lost, sensitive souls I open up my mind become somewhat honest & willing but where does it end I’m a magnificent being when I try to be but mostly I don’t care enough to be anything but me only I can’t fathom this worthless reality So I try to suicide through nefarious practices I do harm to my mind body & soul why why not? Sometimes I gaze in the mirror I look myself up & down avoid the eyes charge my hair I’m naked and I gauge my cock my muscles are like snakes I hate everything that I see so I smash it up and I’m back where I started in the ashes of waste in the fires of time in the useless graveyard of my mind I’m running from the lies falling from the sky The past is a menace I pretend that doesn’t exist The future is a relic that is coming for me and I try to will it away/// But it’s coming at me and sooner or later it will get me and the tension will string me up in a noose that holds me above myself That’s where the story ends!
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