What is this thing
spoken of in delusions in sleepy reels This thing that keeps us awake or puts us in a coma This terror among us This feeling of grandeur beneath layers of anger What is it when something drifts in and out of consciousness like a sailboat lost sifting through mental rivers My mind aghast with white-water rapids I don’t know why I’m even here A Thought constructed by worries & fears But one day I might know why we feel so damn bad But one day I might not feel so … anything is better than this dreaded sensation What is it when we dig holes in the aftermath when we smash hammers into our own skulls Why do we dream when reality is so haunted We imagine a better world in a better time when we didn’t have to feel Why does she make me feel better or worse or, I don’t know Why can’t I cry myself to sleep because in sleep I can forget drown out my worries with dreams or nightmares or whatever it’s all the same A Fantasy that cuts me Sometimes I smoke pot I used to drink It’s a shitty feeling getting high It’s not worth it but it feels so damn good because that hell is better than this hell I’m in now What is it but a lunacy we tell ourselves Love each other Hate your enemy Kill for Jesus Die for America Why do we feel anything because feelings taint the bottom of my heart with black paint A Void in my chest A lost thought so horrid I try to forget What is it this past these transparent infractions so blown up by scorn Why do I regret that which I cannot take back Why do I feel remorse for something that won’t happen again——-- but it might 10 years from now 15, who knows Why do I care so much Caring is a great way to get hurt I quickly learned not to care because it’s so much easier than getting hurt Caught with my pants down Every day I fall and pray and every day I feel disappointed because no one cares enough to get involved in my life I’m so torn by rage & compassion so hungry for knowledge & ignorance So contemplative I fall again & again through fashionable degrees of unfathomable torment which I have depicted all by myself
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Archives
January 2024
Categories
All
|